If I’ve sent you this, it’s because I will eventually need to give you constructive feedback. Not necessarily right now, but it is going to happen. If I’m your manager I’m going to be giving you feedback fairly regularly because it’s a requirement of my job. And I want to set your mind at ease about it by explaining the process up front, and hopefully showing you that it’s no big deal.

The Process

When I give you constructive feedback, it should follow these steps:

  1. Observations — I tell you what I saw
  2. Clarification — You tell me if my observations are correct or not
  3. Expectations — I tell you what I expected
  4. Negotiation — You tell me if my expectations are reasonable or not
  5. Agreement — We both agree on what is expected in the future

That’s all there is to it. Nothing too scary.

Step 1: Observations

The goal of this step is to give you an accurate understanding of my understanding of what happened.

I will try to be objective and stick to the facts. You will need to know what I observed for the next step.

Step 2: Clarification

The goal of this step is for us to both align on the reality of what happened.

I may be missing important bits of information, or I may have misunderstood what happened. This step is your chance to clear up anything that doesn’t sound right from step one.

This process doesn’t really work if we disagree on the facts of what happened, so it’s important that we find a set of facts that we both believe to be true.

Step 3: Expectations

The goal of this step is to give you a clear understanding of what I expected from you.

I will try to be fair and set expectations that are appropriate and reasonable for your role. You will need to know my expectations for the next step.

Step 4: Negotiation

The goal of this step is to check that my expectations are fair and reasonable.

I don’t pretend to be perfect, so I’m open to the possibility that my expectations are unreasonable. This step is your chance to clarify my expectations, ask for reasoning, and, if necessary, make an argument as to why my expectations should be different. If we’re both reasonable people, we can almost always arrive at something that we both find acceptable.

Step 5: Agreement

The goal of this step is to both agree on what the expectations are for the future.

This is the end goal of the feedback process: to both be aligned on what the expectations are and commit to meeting them, so that there are no surprises in the future. I may write it down somewhere so that we can both refer back to it later.

My Promises To You

I promise that I will try to:

  • be objective and honest in my observations
  • be fair and reasonable with my expectations
  • stick to this process for giving feedback

I am human though, and we’re a species known to make mistakes from time to time, but please do call me out if I’m not fulfilling the above promises so that I can get back on track.

What I Need From You

For this process to work, I need you to:

  • engage in discussion
  • engage in good faith
  • speak up and voice your disgreement, if you have any

If you can do those three things, we can resolve any problem.